This heirloom china wants to slip
Out of my tremulous grip.
But plastic’s less heavy,
And nicely holds gravy.
It bounces if ever you... – by David Plantinga | 0 Views added 21 days ago
| Rating
|
Because light and durable dinnerware
Is low-class and not debonair,
The china that shatters,
Those slippery platters,
Enliven dining with a jump-scare. ... – by David Plantinga | 1 View added 27 days ago
| Rating
|
Because a losing player tosses
Monopoly boards and their houses
Sharp corners await
Mom in her bare feet.
The agony one board-game... – by David Plantinga | 0 Views added 1 month ago
| Rating
|
Hasbro makes a Monopoly game
Durable because sometimes we blame
The board for our troubles.
We never roll doubles!
So flip the whole board. This is lame!... – by David Plantinga | 0 Views added 1 month ago
| Rating
|
It’s fun to collect money for passing
Go but ahead hotels are massing.
Competitors bought
The railroads. You’re caught!
You can’t outrun landlords by racing. ... – by David Plantinga | 3 Views added 2 months ago
| Rating
|
A top hat that skims on its brim
And cars built with wheels that don’t spin
Vault from Baltic to Ventnor,
Streets you don’t pay rent for.
If they land on Boardwalk you win. ... – by David Plantinga | 0 Views added 2 months ago
| Rating
|
A little bit of potty humor. People from other countries often complain about American bathroom stalls. ... – by David Plantinga | 0 Views added 3 months ago
| Rating
|
Hospitable airport motels serve
Continental breakfast. It takes nerve
To think some continent
Serves food not fit for Lent.
Are stale corn flakes what their guests deserve?... – by David Plantinga | 1 View added 3 months ago
| Rating
|
A diuretic’s the best juice
To glug before those long commutes.
If coffee makes you pee
That is a paltry fee
For the elation it’s produced. ... – by David Plantinga | 1 View added 3 months ago
| Rating
|
Because winter days aren’t short enough
To bruise our moods, already rough,
We make them shorter still
And by our own free will.
So if you’re glum and grouchy, tough!... – by David Plantinga | 0 Views added 3 months ago
| Rating
|
Because even a long summer day
Isn’t long enough to harvest hay.
We modern folk must lose
A lovely hour to snooze
Or botch our Sunday reveillé. ... – by David Plantinga | 0 Views added 3 months ago
| Rating
|
When things go wrong I like to whine.
Complaining’s free and feels so fine.
So when I do find fault,
It’s moaning I exalt.
Sip vinegar instead of wine. ... – by David Plantinga | 0 Views added 3 months ago
| Rating
|
All gargoyles scowl. What is the matter?
These faces will not make things better.
But gargoyles always scowl
Because their haunches howl,
And slipping off their ledge will... – by David Plantinga | 0 Views added 3 months ago
| Rating
|
While perusing pictures at the Louvre
A dragon felt dismayed and moved
At how often they portrayed
When Saint George cruelly slayed.
If claws could clutch brushes they’d reprove.... – by David Plantinga | 0 Views added 4 months ago
| Rating
|
Too nimble for sluggards to swat
Flies will gambol when it gets hot.
Don’t bother to flap.
You’re too slow to slap
That buzzing, tormenting argonaut. ... – by David Plantinga | 1 View added 5 months ago
| Rating
|
The summer brings on buzzing flies.
Those whirrings around ears and eyes
Strum lullabies that make
A sleeper jerk awake
And aggravate miserable Julies. ... – by David Plantinga | 0 Views added 6 months ago
| Rating
|
All phrases that are pleonastic
And too redundant are bombastic.
Verbose prolixity
Makes plodding poetry,
A sluggish, limping limerick. ... – by David Plantinga | 0 Views added 6 months ago
| Rating
|
In anti-intruder apprenticeships
The tiniest tiny canines yips
At any passing tread
Because it’s def con red.
A zombie will flee from shih tzu nips. ... – by David Plantinga | 0 Views added 7 months ago
| Rating
|
Since a bitter beverage goes best
With sweeter courses, adding zest,
So many breakfast dishes
Considered most delicious
Are sugary bases syrup dressed. ... – by David Plantinga | 2 Views added 7 months ago
| Rating
|
Though thimbles are rigid and heavy and tight
Getting gouged by pins is no delight.
A finger jabbed enough
Gets calloused, horned, and tough,
But why suffer needless pain from spite? ... – by David Plantinga | 0 Views added 7 months ago
| Rating
|
Though shaving with soap is very cheap
The cuts can also run quite deep.
Be careful round the lips.
Or gout in scarlet drips.
Perhaps gel’s price isn’t so steep.... – by David Plantinga | 0 Views added 7 months ago
| Rating
|
A toggle is so fun to twist
While buttons pivot like a wrist.
Rotating through a slit
Gives a much snugger fit.
Toggles swaddle a contortionist.... – by David Plantinga | 0 Views added 8 months ago
| Rating
|
Because zippers cruelly pinch the skin
I use velcro for my fastening.
Those hooks are much too small
To puncture me at all,
Twisting barbs into crooks blunts pins. ... – by David Plantinga | 0 Views added 8 months ago
| Rating
|
Would pumpkins smile so very wide
If they knew on a porch outside
An exposed gourd soon rots
Or splatters parking spots?
Their grins come from some defiant pride. ... – by David Plantinga | 0 Views added 8 months ago
| Rating
|
I always wanted to procrastinate,
But put if off and now it’s too late.
So if you want to laze
Don’t put up with delays.
Today’s the day to vegetate. ... – by David Plantinga | 0 Views added 8 months ago
| Rating
|
Two neighbors from Naseby compete
Whenever they pour some wet concrete
Whose sidewalk will dry
First, or is it a tie?
Luxuriant lawns are also a feat. ... – by David Plantinga | 0 Views added 9 months ago
| Rating
|
When the nimble aphids are leaping
And squat caterpillars are creeping
They’re fleeing on before
The mower’s starting roar,
Like field-mice at the autumn reaping. ... – by David Plantinga | 0 Views added 9 months ago
| Rating
|
The afternoon’s drippy and muddy,
And kids are kept out of Dad’s study.
There’s nothing to do
But mope the day through
Or living-room rugby with Buddy. ... – by David Plantinga | 0 Views added 9 months ago
| Rating
|
An ant will sit on a committee
That studies where in all the city
The children are most prone
To drop an ice cream cone.
At tiny scales they’re not that... – by David Plantinga | 0 Views added 9 months ago
| Rating
|
The squishiest mattress is a cloud,
So soft it shouldn’t be allowed.
To stiffen the vapor
They take our their scraper
To shave off of sleet’s brittle shroud.... – by David Plantinga | 0 Views added 10 months ago
| Rating
|
