Victor Gatenby

On A Matter Of Loss

My name is Victor John Gatenby, born in 1958 and native of North Yorkshire, England, United Kingdom. I am a researcher of genealogy and started to write poetry in 2002, after retiring from public service. Having a creative and compassionate mind, for helping people, that is in my scope to do, I fin…

I am frequently left alone
with my thoughts.
Everyone has thoughts,
both good and bad.
In silence, thoughts that
feature, torment my mind
of guilt and loss.
Over-riding the good,
a battle of the mind,
gets the better of me,
a controlling boss.

Experiences that involve
painful and the mind is
Visions, aspirations and
blurred and marred.

For a loss in life,
is difficult to comprehend,
deal with, to repair
or mend.

I have had my fair share
of loss,
often reminded by something
I see and hear,
I have a sadness,
quietly or openly,
I cry,
lump in throat,
without a dry eye,
bringing about a tear.

I am not ashamed at crying and
I am a man.
Where there is a sense of loss,
I am sensitive and there should
be no criticism,
as to why or can.

I am opening my heart
to a love and pain of losing
something so dear,
being thoughtful of that,
does bring about a tear.
You certainly would not be
human to have no compassion
or feeling in mind.
I have come across those people,
cold, un-emotional,
stone faced,
certainly not that of my kind.

I cannot deny that I am sensitive
and very aware,
that it comes across.
My emotions are outward bound
and feelings strong,
for the love of life
and more so,
when there is a sense of loss.

Forgive me, for sharing my
thoughts or appearing sad.
My emotions, I am told,
emanate or stem from childhood
and experiences,
when a lad.

The child emotions are carried
forward into adulthood,
difficult to harness or contain.
I concentrate on the good and
to balance the varying emotions,
to include loss and guilt,
from being totally insane !!