I'm a 30-year old who suffers from Schizophrenia. Suffers, being the keyword. I am a tortured soul. I'm plagued with substance dependence and mental illness, which is also known as a dual diagnosis.Poetry was soothing when I was beginning to hit rock bottom. I felt as if I was at the end of my ropeā€¦

This unquenchable thirst
Dismally becomes worse.
For every minute that ticks past,
Cravings physically harass.

My body and soul,
My psyche loses control.
Anxiously I wait and debate,
While my imagination illustrates.

The next chance to obtain sweet ambrosia,
The nectar that, the gods foresaw.
I ponder if they care about the few
That have cemented themselves to it, as glue.

I'd rather drink than eat.
Until my heart ceases to beat.
I'd rather drink than Live
As, I've nothing left to give.

My life tremors steadily
As those around me decree:
Selfishness, weakness, and immaturity;
Those that suffer as I do would disagree

For while we; are as a moth to the flame.
Stigmas and ignorance persistently maintain.
That those too closely attached are unfit
 And I have tasted sweet ambrosia and cannot quit.

Interpersonal relationships demand
That I give up my vice as planned.
For I had admitted to quitting,
And to stop this natural thing:

My sweet ambrosia, my life
My purpose, my strife,
To live without you is a nightmare,
To live with you is to alienate all that care.

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