A Teen's Point of View

I am a chaotic and toxic poet I write what I can't say out loud I am dark and broady

When I was little,
I love my family as they love me,
I would do anything for them,
I love them so much.

I love how they were there for me,
When I would hurt my self
When I join a contest
They were there for me.

Now I'm a teen soon to a an adult,
I found how naive I was
I realize my love for them was shallow
I realized that I was a mistake.

I am afraid then and now I'm still afraid
I was scared to be an older sister
I was afraid to be a teenage
and now I am afraid from my self

Is it because that I love them so much
that I forgot love myself
Is it because I was not born of love that
I can't love myself

I don't know anymore
I don't care anymore
But I still love them so.