Arthur Clement Hilton

Nonsense Verses

Arthur Clement Hilton was an Anglican priest, and an English poet who wrote nonsense verse. He attended Marlborough College and St. John's College, Cambridge. He graduated in 1873 from Wells Theological Seminary, and was ordained a deacon in 1874 and a priest in 1875. He earned a M.A. from Cambridg…

By Edward Leary.
  There was an old fellow of Peterhouse,
  Who said, "You could not find a neater house
  Than our new Combination-Room
  For a mild dissipation room."
  That abandoned old Fellow of Peterhouse.
  There was a boat captain of Downing,
  Whose crew were in danger of drowning,
  But he cried, "Swim to shore,
  For I'm sure that eight more
  Could not be collected in Downing."

  There was a young genius of Queens',
  Who was fond of explosive machines,
  He once blew up a door,
  But he'll do it no more,
  For it chanced that that door was the Dean's.

  There was a young student of Caius,
  Who collected black beetles and fleas,
  He'd walk out in the wet
  With his butterfly net,
  And smile, and seem quite at his ease.

  There was a young man of Sid. Sussex,
  Who insisted that w + x
  Was the same as xw;
  So they said, "Sir, we'll trouble you
  To confine that idea to Sid. Sussex."

  There was a young gourmand of John's,
  Who'd a notion of dining on swans,
  To the Backs he took big nets
  To capture the cygnets,
  But was told they were kept for the Dons.

  There was an old Fellow of Trinity,
  A Doctor well versed in Divinity,
  But he took to free thinking
  And then to deep drinking,
  And so had to leave the vicinity.