Sara Miller

Old You

Just a young woman expressing her life experiences with the world. I hope this poem touches those who have struggled in the presence of addiction.

[Old You]

I miss the old you
Would you consider a change?

Stop! Just Stop!
Stop nagging me,
You don’t even know who I am.

But I do,
I lost you, the only other person I could turn to
I want you to experience life,
Experience it with me.
There is so much more to see,
We can make great memories

You just don’t understand,
It’s not as simple as you think
I struggle every day,
But I am not considered weak.

You’re strong!
Much stronger than you think

I miss you guys,
But this makes me feel complete.
What don’t you see?

We miss the old you
We love you.
Do you really want to know what I see?

Of course, I can handle anything

I see masked pain,
A weak heart,
And a stolen brain
I see one eager for love,
A love he cannot give himself.
A disruption in the midst of a beautiful thing
What do you see?

I see long nights,
With rooms full of strangers.
I feel the energy of enemies that sit right next to me,
But still can’t sense the danger
I could really use some help right now,
$5 will solve my problems

My Dearest Brother,
No amount of money ever solves anything.
Aren’t you tired?
We want you better,
Please get sober.
Go back to treatment
This could all be over!

But I don’t want it, so it won’t help.
What’s the big deal?
I don’t belong on a shelf.

But why?
We’re your family, we want to have you close
Your niece
Your nephew
Your spirit helps them grow

So, it seems
I am the black sheep,
that nobody cares to know

I care, we care.

Do they think of me?
Can I say “Hi”?

Hi Uncle Chris,
I miss you!
Are you being good?
I play basketball in your old neck of the woods
You taught me that, remember?
Video games and pizza,
Then basketball after.

I miss you too
And your laughter
And yes, I remember
So be good for your mama
I will see you soon

Can’t you see,
We miss the old you.
Look back on time, like loony toons.
Sobriety, do you want it?
There is much more,
Beyond this small suffocating world at your door.

Who knows,
Only time will tell

I hope so, since in the end there is either heaven or hell.
Life is short and I don’t want it to end,
With you dead or in a cell.

I love you, always.