Behind Closed Doors

I open my eyes to start the day
And reality hits me whilst in bed I lay
No phone calls this morning to say I love you
No more memories will be made, I really miss you

I shed some tears while memories flood my mind
I try to get out of bed, the strength I now must find,
Into the shower as tears trip down my face
Your loss in my heart I can never replace

Time to get dressed and try to face the day
I apply my makeup as my mask to hide my pain away
People have no idea what you really go through inside
Whilst he never ending tears and pain you continue to try to hide

That man in the street, he looked just like you
People walking their dogs, just like we used to do,
A song comes on the radio you used to always sing along
Everything just seems impossible since you have gone

As we eat our Sunday roast, I see your empty chair
As I change the bed-sheets, just one set, as you didn’t get to sleep there
Everything I do just remind me you are gone
How do I pick myself up, how do I move on?

Be patient to those who are grieving, spare us a mindful thought
You might actually think we are coping and we have lots of support
This is not the case for most as we pretend to be strong
But behind closed doors our hearts are broken as we slowly try to move on

Night time falls upon me, the toughest part of the day
We used to always say goodnight and talk the day away
Now I lie in bed and cry, as videos I watch
Of all the things we used to do, that suddenly all stopped

The concerts we would go to and record us signing having fun
The cooking and the baking, sometimes baked till they were over done
The movie nights and popcorn together on the sofa snuggled up
Drinking ‘hugs in mugs’ from our favourite cups

To the professionals, I wonder why have they lied?
How dare they, while I was broken falling apart, I cried and cried
They are concealing the truth, but in time it will come out
I will fight with every last breath, I promise you, to that there is no doubt