used.

I find I cry when I’m sad or happy.
I find I laugh when I’m tickled or mad.
I find I freeze when I’m nervous or excited.
I find I may not know which is at ease.

I use when I’m sad, happy, tickled or mad.
I use when I’m nervous or excited.
I use to be at ease.
I use when I want an emotion.

I want to feel like I’m having fun.
I want to feel like I’m not.
I want to feel like I can block you out.
I want to feel like I have control.

It’s easy to fly into a rage.
It’s easy to know what to say.
It’s easy to truly want.
It’s easy to want nothing at all.

What is it like to want me?
What is it like to want me far away?
What is it like to need me and I’m not there?
What is it like to watch me lose me?

All the control I’ve gladly given away to something I cannot see, because if I could, it would still be me.