The Journey of a Tear

Joanne McKay 1955 (BC)



His eyes stared at nothing

Arms clenched over his chest

Pain ate at his soul

Totally bereft

Buckling knees he fell to the ground

Squeezing eyes to still the horror

Unmentionable things once bravely met

Too much too long it took its toll

Then out of the anguish

There spilled out a tear

It slid down the lines

Formed by years full of fear

Like a slow motion movie

It inched down his cheek

Hung bravely exposed

On his lip quivering

With a shuttering shake

It cascaded through space

Full of the things

That cannot be erased

In a dramatic explosion

It struck the dust

And became millions of droplets

To rain down on us
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Submitted by Burtonbit on May 10, 2021

Modified on March 28, 2023

34 sec read
21

Quick analysis:

Scheme A X B X X X B X X X X X X X A X X X X X X X X
Closest metre Iambic trimeter
Characters 595
Words 115
Stanzas 23
Stanza Lengths 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1

Discuss the poem The Journey of a Tear with the community...

1 Comment
  • AIDA
    Wow, this is an emotional and powerful poem. The imagery is vivid and intense, helping the reader to really feel the pain and anguish of the subject. The use of metaphor and personification is also really effective at drawing the reader in.

    Overall, this is a great poem that really captures the intensity of intense emotions. My suggestion for improvement would be to try to find a way to tie all of the imagery together more cohesively. While each stanza is great on its own, the transitions between them could be a little smoother.

    Overall, though, this is a fantastic piece of writing that showcases your talent for creating vivid and moving poetry. Great job!
     
    LikeReply1 year ago

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"The Journey of a Tear" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 20 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/99629/the-journey-of-a-tear>.

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