Collaterally damaged

Got that call last week that you were really gone.
Now I sit here wondering where things went wrong.
Can't go forward, cant go backwards, cant move on
So I grabbed a pen so I could write this song
Words keep flowing from my head, but so do tears.
Thinking about all the what ifs and my fears
I can't face them i cant even face a mirror.
Close my eyes at night and I still see you there.
Walking away from me while I try to run.
Toward a light that is as glaring as the sun.
Reaching for you hoping I can pull you back.
As I lose my grip on you, I just get mad.
Why'd you leave me; why aren't you here, where'd you go?
These are all the things that I just need to know.
Guilt surrounds me like four walls of aching pain.
Sometimes I scream in my head like I'm insane
Always asking myself should I take the blame?
Many questions left unanswered still remain
Now we lay you down to rest while I still weep
Pray to the lord up above your soul to keep.
I can see you looking down with your big grin
Telling me that I am always your best friend.
I am yours and you are mine until the end.
This is not goodbye it's just see you again.