What Color Am I?

WHO AM I? AND WHAT COLOR?

 

I'm Red & Black

Red Symbolizes Heartbreak & Blood

Feel like my mind is completely wandering and I’m not my normal self as if I had been drugged. At the age of six, I wasn’t the type to have friends then and be all in the mix in these little cliques. I was one of those whose body was fix, and what I meant my fix I meant normal and all real built like an hourglass maybe the thickest one in my entire class and everybody looked and made faces each time I walked past.  At the age of six, I was molested by my own blood, three years later I couldn’t keep quiet anymore so I told and afterwards I was misjudged. The person I told was a mistake, because my truth turned everybody’s love for me now into hate, heartbreak. All the things I went through make my heart ache. Red Symbolizes Heartbreak and Blood, at the age 11 I received my first heartbreak and when I'm feeling down, I block everything out and go in these dark spaces and these unknown places. I just want to scream and now my blood is about to boil f*ck our family lawyer his name was Mr. Doyle and because of him and not believing in me I went through hell my whole life and he couldn’t even see and not disagree my whole life would've been perfect; I would've been free can't you fucking see that lady hated the thought and the look of me that lady use to beat the f*ck out of me and all because of you and her things will never go back to the way they were.

 

 

Black Symbolizes Death & Darkness

At the of 11 I became the most heartless when we had got that call, they had gunned down my daddy my mind and heart went blank all I seen was darkness. They shot him 17 times in the city I was born and raised in the city that had the highest crimes and the same block they left him lifeless and all the emotions from these people Ive never heard of faces was priceless and the only thought going through my head was I'm not this little girl I was back then now I'm not the nicest. Year 2021 I lost somebody who was the closest to me, my auntie and my world now feel like it’s a replay of something already happening but it repeating itself again and this time I won't let the devil win. I don’t know how much stronger a person can be, put your feet in my shoes and go through the things I been in, you couldn’t handle half of what I been through even if you pretend. My whole life it's just been death after death and the ones that would hit me the hardest and I'm not the smartest neither am I some type of artist. I'm just a person who went through so much as a child that even if I told you couldn't keep track, you’ll run out of the fingers you were counting on. My first heartbreak was killed by a gun and my life will never be the same cause I'm going to forever represent Twan because that was his name but I'm gone forever speak Long Live Jessica because that death hit a different type of pain, they say they made it home when it rains but my heartache from so much heartbreak and I'm going insane. I'm not too good at these rhymes, lost most of my families through crimes and maybe God just put the wrong people on this world sometimes. but these are the colors that describe me, this is who I am.