Rate this poem:(0.00 / 0 votes)

Humerous lament for the groom.



Humorous lament for the groom.

You’ve dug a deep hole in your `garden of life`,
got yourself hooked with a `trouble and strife`,
you were warned by your chums not to `set the date`,
but there’s no turning back now, no..........it’s far too late!
That ring through your nose, constant irritation will be,
and, on the `short leash` issued, the horizons you’ll see
will be seriously curtailed-it’s from here, woe and doom`,
yesterday’s carefree bachelor is today a sad groom!
Though all is not lost, it is looking pretty grim,
(you’ll have to keep and pander to her ev`ry whim?)
The nagging, the whinging, the cajoling, the `black moods`,
(the `new` hygiene habits)..the more healthy `veggie` foods,
the enforced teetotalism-with `the lads`, no more nights,
the joint bank account, now that will give you the `frights!?`
Just what is there to look forward to-quick, get it over,
throw yourself off a bridge or the White cliffs of Dover!
Things won’t improve, it’s not vintage wine you’re drinking,
and, as time goes by, it gets worse, despite what you’re thinking!
Take a look at her mum, that’s your beloved `mate` in 30 years,
and if that doesn’t concentrate your mind and stir up some fears,
then it really is all over, better `bung in the towel now,
and to the inevitable life onwards, of purgatory bow,
"Ah, so sad, so young and with so much yet to give,
`chopped off in his prime, with little done, no life left to live."
I cannot go on with this tale, it’s almost too much,
I suppose some suitable solution will be found and, as such
a `dog’s life` will be endured, and a kennel will be found,
you’ll convince yourself you’re `in clover`, and the position is `sound.`
So, get on with it-wear that collar-you’ve `made your own bed`,
you were forewarned repeatedly, so just never let it be said,
that you’ve entered this `blindly`-`experts of many years,
expressed their doubts-told you often of their fears,
`shackled and bound`, the end must surely be nigh,
we wish you `good luck`(you’ll need it!)and `goodbye!!?`

Jennifer Kersey 28/5/1997.
Font size:
 

Submitted by paintedlady on April 30, 2021

1:48 min read
4 Views

Discuss this Jennifer Kersey poem with the community:

0 Comments

    Translation

    Find a translation for this poem in other languages:

    Select another language:

    • - Select -
    • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
    • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
    • Español (Spanish)
    • Esperanto (Esperanto)
    • 日本語 (Japanese)
    • Português (Portuguese)
    • Deutsch (German)
    • العربية (Arabic)
    • Français (French)
    • Русский (Russian)
    • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
    • 한국어 (Korean)
    • עברית (Hebrew)
    • Gaeilge (Irish)
    • Українська (Ukrainian)
    • اردو (Urdu)
    • Magyar (Hungarian)
    • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
    • Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Italiano (Italian)
    • தமிழ் (Tamil)
    • Türkçe (Turkish)
    • తెలుగు (Telugu)
    • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
    • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
    • Čeština (Czech)
    • Polski (Polish)
    • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Românește (Romanian)
    • Nederlands (Dutch)
    • Ελληνικά (Greek)
    • Latinum (Latin)
    • Svenska (Swedish)
    • Dansk (Danish)
    • Suomi (Finnish)
    • فارسی (Persian)
    • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
    • հայերեն (Armenian)
    • Norsk (Norwegian)
    • English (English)

    Citation

    Use the citation below to add this poem to your bibliography:

    Style:MLAChicagoAPA

    "Humerous lament for the groom." Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 24 Oct. 2021. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/98789/humerous-lament-for-the-groom.>.

    Become a member!

    Join our community of poets and poetry lovers to share your work and offer feedback and encouragement to writers all over the world!

    Browse Poetry.com

    Quiz

    Are you a poetry master?

    »
    What is the longest Old English poem?
    • A. Beowulf
    • B. Soul and Body
    • C. Elene
    • D. The Fates of the Apostles

    Our favorite collection of

    Famous Poets

    »