Missing Pieces

Find the pieces! Find the pieces! They can't be gone! They've got to be here somewhere. It can't be fixed without the parts. Missing! missing! It's gone, I can't find it! Where could I have left it? Is it possible that someone has taken it? No, why would anyone want a sliver of a heart. IT HAS TO BE HERE!! But where? Where do I start? In the past where it had broken? Or more recently where I'd rebuilt? Should I tear down the wall and look there? Should I chip away the frozen barrier? Unlock that which I had to lock away to protect..... ME. My soul, it feels so incomplete. I can feel it. I feel the gap, the hole and it aches. It's tolerable. But its always there. I can't unlock and chip away at that which keeps me safe. I can't chance losing any more pieces. It hurts, knowing I can't love. It hurts knowing I'm to scared to try. It hurts not to be able to trust. It hurts because of the lies. It hurts because I know I'll run when I start to feel. It hurts knowing I will never give anyone the chance to love me the way I want to be loved. It's gone. The pieces of me. They're gone. And it hurts. I wish I could fix it. But the pieces are gone. I'm alone because that's where I'm safe. I'll ignore the pain, the want, the need, and I'll be okay. And noone else will be hurt by me.