In The Moment

I used to remember,
Every statement,
That made me feel like I can't do something.
Every comment,
That made me feel like I am less than human.
Every name,
That made me feel like who I am isn't enough.
I used to remember,
The damage it caused me.
I used to remember,
How much I was consumed.

I was born and raised,
With negative dealings,
And having to change to be ideal.
I was surrounded and swarmed,
With horrible interactions,
And having to put on a smile.

As I have grown,
I have taught myself,
How not to deal.
As I have grown,
I have taught myself,
How to forget.
With teaching myself this,
I am able to live in the moment.

A content feeling,
That doesn't deal with pain or hurt.
A medium feeling,
That doesn't deal with dwelling in the past.
It is an average feeling,
That allows me to see,
See the beauty that is in front of me.
It is a front,
That allows me to feel,
Feel like I can move on my own pace.
It is a state of being,
That allows me to live in the moment.

(Was written 3/10/21)