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What is Loneliness?

Loneliness. What is loneliness? Is it that feeling you get inside
When your mind disappears, and no one comes to hang out with you
Or is it that feeling you get when you are the only person who didn't get
Invited to the popular person's hangout or birthday party?
Maybe it's that feeling,
When you feel as lonely as an abandoned ship in the middle of the ocean.
Or even that feeling when you realize you weren’t invited to the park with your closest friends..

What happens if…
Loneliness isn't any of that
You might have a great family,
Great friends,
And great parents.
Every single day you may put a brave and happy face on,
To seem like you're okay and everything's fine,
So no one will know the pain and sorrow you have gone through.

Now, no one knows and suspects the pain and sorrow you've been through,
Because you're so good at acting that no one questions you.
You seem like you have the perfect family
You seem like you have the perfect parents
And that's the issue.
Your only “friends:” are only your friends because scene you're so lonely deep inside
You will take out every single tiny and big emotion on them,
That scares them to the point there afraid to stop being friends with you.

They are afraid that once they stop being friends with you,
They will feel the same loneliness you feel.
That their hearts will be yelling to their brains,

To stop having random lashouts at people,
Because they will start becoming lonely deep down,
Just like you.
But your friends brain will say to the heart,
“Alright. I will stop having random lashouts.”

Your friends hearts knows that although the brain
Stopped having random lashouts at people,
Their heart slowly has become lonely,
To the point they won't talk about their feelings.
This might not even be the case for the term of loneliness to you.
Instead, you losing a friend or family member in anyway
Is the biggest pain you could ever feel.
One second your friend or family member will be right by your side.

The next second, they're gone.
When you lose a friend or family member,
You will start to think of all the good times you guys had together...
But wait,
Soon enough your brain will start to think.
Your brain realizes that you made them cry before,
By yelling at them or even in any other way.

Your heart drops.
You realize that you might be the reason why they stopped talking to you..
You realize that you might be the reason why they passed away.
Thinking about all of that made you lonely deep inside.
But don't worry! You put a brave face on every day
Yet you cry yourself to sleep every night while you are alone.
You tell yourself “i'm fine” or “everything's fine”
But saying those words, only made the pit of loneliness get deeper and deeper.

Loneliness might even be that feeling,
When something traumatic happened months or even years ago,

BUt your still holding on to the feeling,
That made you think about weather or not
It's worth living.
People keep telling you that your worth it,
That you're beautiful and or handsome!
That it doesn't matter what your sexuality is,
That it doesn't matter what you believe in!
They keep telling you all of these things,
But you can't find the guts to trust them,
Because people who told you those things,
Always ended up talking trash about you in the end.

But wait..
You might be feeling lonely inside because people might have said
That your “To skinny” or “to fat”
At first,
You know none of this is true,
But all of this starts to get into your head.
You look at yourself in the mirror.
Your brain starts to make you image,
That your body isn't perfect!
Even though it already is.
You start wearing baggy clothes to hide the fact that your
“To skinny” or “to fat…”

You might even think the term of loneliness,
Is that feeling you get when you get in trouble by your parent and or guardian,
And they end up calling you stupid,
An idiot,
Or even that you're worthless!
Yes, you might have done something wrong,
But does it really feel good deep down inside,
When they call you that?

You want to defend yourself and say that's not the whole story,
But defending yourself will only make your parent and or gardien think
That your “talking back.”
You end up believing all of these things that there calling you are true,
Even though they are not.
You end up crying in the worst moments that could happen.
Like when you walk into a store,
Your school,
Your after school program,
You might even cry right before picture day!
Your eyes become red and puffy,
From crying all that time.

People question why your crying to their friends,
Or even straight up!
Hearing them talk about you will make you just..
Want to disappear.
You want to hug someone to make your fear and loneliness disappear,
But sometimes you don't want to because that will make you cry even more!

Now, I know personally that you are lonely deep inside,
Just even if it means a little bit
Or if it means a lot.
I want you to know that I have might not stated the thing
That was made you feel lonely,
Just know that everyone feels lonely from time to time.
Don't be afraid to talk about your emotions to people,
Just make sure not to get mad at them when they're trying to help you.
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Submitted by p595085 on April 28, 2021

4:55 min read

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