Habits of my heart

At that moment,
I was lost;
the burning tip of that stick,
the only light I saw.
That poison, my elixir,
Saving me from my darkness.

Never had I known such darkness before,
darkness that consumed me.
My very existence, a feeling of loss
The night so dark,
as if comforting my sore eyes
and mourning with me
all at once.

I took a long drag
of that sinful elixir of mine
and choked;
and finally,
a tear escaped my soul
through my eyes.

Such relief I found
at the thought of dying,
that I inhaled that blissfully disastrous smoke
and my head felt light,
and my heart cried,
but only one tear escaped,
carrying all the weight
of my lost happiness.