Bonnie & Clyde!

Bonnie & Clyde!

Let`s creep out tonight,
Load up the van,
Ensure we`re not seen by
Any woman or man,
Keep the lights off
Before the main road,
Let neighbours sleep;
Comatose,
We have it all planned
As we take a ride,
We`re a team; a mean-machine:
Bonnie & Clyde,
Setting out in secret
On a hard-core mission,
In pyjamas, balaclavas,
For a spot of fly-tipping,
There`s a rusty gas oven
Rocking in the van
As we turn sharp corners
As fast as we can,
Bald car tyres,
A smashed ceramic sink,
A bicycle frame,
Loose chain, missing links,
A thinly-stuffed scarecrow
Having seen its day
Feeling only half
Of how it felt yesterday,
A ragged, dirty carpet
Folded in a heap,
Its underlay rotten,
Losing its physique,
Bricks and bags of rubble
Bouncing in the back,
Far too much trouble
To recycle; that's a fact,
A mouldy old lawn-mower;
Pitted blades, no wheels,
On its last, stained with grass,
Destined for some field,
We pull up in the countryside,
Fling open both back doors,
Drag stuff out to pile about
Without signs of remorse,
Flutters in the bushes,
Disturbed birds in the night
Wondering why the clatter
Of a vacuum-cleaner frights,
A mattress hits the ground with force,
A wardrobe on its way,
A dining-table with one leg,
Three chairs... hip hip hooray!
Further on we drop some more,
Laughing as we do,
This village we're in is such a dump
It seems to follow suit,
A fridge is toppled over,
Hits the ground... thud!
In a frigid position
Without a three-point plug,
Window-frames,  glass smashing,
Crashes in the night
Biffs and bashes clashing
As the naff trash drops from height,
Our cranky van is empty,
We flatter ourselves with pride
On an illegal mission of suspicion,
Fly-tipping, Bonnie and Clyde!