Self-Worth

I never really used to like me when I was growing up
Everything about me just caused me to doubt.
Was I good enough?
Or what would I need to do to look, think and act like that diamond in the rough?

I felt like my upbringing had a part to play in this dismay,
The single parent household and its challenges gave my growth a bit of delay.
I was ever seeking assurance from everyone,
And seeking validation from people who I thought was my day one.

That was the period of my teenage life of high and low tides,
Ever brilliant in school so as to disappoint no one but insecure deep inside.
I kept a straight face and was ever positive,  
Because, who would ever believe a girl like me would lack any good motives?

University life kicked in and it was like I was on my own,
Facing a world different and unknown.
I got congratulations and best wishes,
But it soon faded away as a shark trying to chase a shoal of fishes.

I kept seeking for a sense of purpose,
Good grades and good friendships were my constants lust.
But something needed to be cured in order to feel complete,
And what I did brought immense healing and relieve.
I truly allowed God to guide me,
Although I accepted him through baptism, I still didn’t immerse my trust in him fully.
I needed him to teach me to accept myself and his promises,
That if I allow his will, I’ll forever reap his blessings.

Don’t think I wasn’t in any hurtful relationships,
Those made me cry, crumble and shatter my shallow grips.
It made me realized who I was for a fact
Sandpapering the rough edges and increased where I lacked.

Now as a woman, how was all this growth possible?
I began to truly love myself and the scars that seem unlovable.
I began to think and feel like I’m worthy in all my good and bad seasons,
And that God has me here for a good and righteous reason.

So, love truly makes the world go ‘round’,
Sounds like a cliché but there is truth in it when done.
That when you really love yourself for who you are and what the good you become,
You are indeed that diamond the world was waiting to see and will appreciate when found.