I Can’t Let Go

Night after night, I slide into your different world
And as I do, I feel an awesome tied of comfort
Because I know your conscience has found its peace at the crossroads
Regrets and fears vanished, and grief was left below
I dare to regard the colored lights and garlands enchanting this tableau
You seem so happy there, why can’t I let you go?
        
Relentless prayers, every day, surround the throne of God
I ask for strength to walk His path
And suffer not for you sleep tight beneath the silky sod
But I’m too weak, wrapped up in pain,
My love for you is much to bear
I cry and shout in my despair.  Just wind I gain by doing so
And yet, I find it hard to let you go.

So many brilliant memories cascade into my mind
I see this blue-eyed boy on his first day of school
Pleading with me to hold his hand; I tell him to be brave
I turn around, hide my tears and try to not look back
And then, I see his silly tricks and laughs
Cars, trains and games that make his face to glow
Many bad choices and bent rules, pretending not to know
“I’m so sorry” he’d always say knowing he would be grounded, though
These memories rainstorm my mind and stop me to let go.

One day, I’ll find my peace, I know
We’ll meet again in twirls of sunny beams,
Green meadows, birds, gardenias and violins
A different world where Life begins
We’ll feel God’s love as an abundant flow
And then, I’ll never have to let you go!
Lidia Cangeopol