would there be tears?

You say I am an idiot
you call my mind distracted
you could never understand
What it's like in that maze
the hell I designed for myself
Where do you think I trapped myself
why do you think I died on the inside

whenever I payed attention,
the shadows ripped me apart
sanity's only just pent up tension
words hold more power then a single dart

Why should I listen to the shadows
when they tear me down
tell me why I failed to drown
why I couldn't just drop from the chair

do you know how many times I tried
to snuff out this fire within me
could you bare to know what your words do
to who I am inside and out

you lecture to pay more attention
yet whenever i open up I want to shut down
Tell me why I couldn't let myself drown
in that ignorant bliss

Would it break you to say that hate knows no bounds
when it comes to all that I know
hearts hold no promise in my desolate land
you're an audience with no show

Why do you think I bleed on this paper
when I take ink from a pen
could you surmise why I hide prayer
in an unforgivable sin

would you ever just listen
to the soul that's within
could you ever snuff your pride
if you were the reason that I died?