Wondering....

Sitting here waiting.. debating on what to do.
Wondering, pondering.. wishing to hold you.
So many things run through my head..
To many things I have left unsaid.
My feelings for you grow stronger everyday.
I just pray and hope we'll always be okay..
My heart & my soul is both in this..
You got me on the first kiss.
My knees go weak still to this day...
But I wonder do you still feel the same?
The same.. like when we first held eachother so close..
Not wanting to let the other one go.
Our lips touching eachother's in such a gentle way
Always having to be near eachother every single day.
I sit and wonder what goes on in your head.
Actions I can't take back.. words I wish I had never said.
I love you is all I know.. My heart aches, my feelings all colide.
In you I could always confine.. I wish it was like it used to be.
Your happy face is something I'm longing to see.
Your soft touch I miss so much.. Your sweet lips against mine.
Please just give me a sign.. A sign that the passion still remains
I want to make love, be loved, feel loved;
I want that gentle touch.
The one you gave me so long ago....
I want that feeling of knowing you will always be here.
That feeling where I know you'll always be near.
I remember when I could feel the passion through your eyes.
Now.. it's all faded away with my lonesome cries.
Your hand in mine was always so preicous, so gentle.. so sweet.
Something has changed within such a short matter of time.
Pressed against my skin when I could feel your heartbeat,
as if it was both of ours at once..beating.. so beautifully..
For once I felt at ease.. my heart no longer searching for someone to heal the pain.
My soul wonders these nights alone...
By myself I truley think.. I'm not stupid, dumb, an idiot or any of these things.
I ask myself how could it be?
How could you be like this with me?
But in the back of my mind I do understand.
I caused you alot of hurt... pain.. with my lies.
Forgivness.. must be so far away..
I'll still be here waiting on that very day.
This love of mine I don't want to lose
If you could only leave me some clues..
Clues that the love is still there that was there before.
I don't want you to do anything more..
Passion is all I want.. I want it all back.
Your touches, your sweet little kisses, telling me i'm beautiful..
I miss all that...
I never meant to hurt you..
I hope you know this is true.
My soul, my heart, my truth, my love is all I want to give to you.
Happiness is what I want..
I love you so much.
It brings tears to my eyes just sitting here writing about it.
None of this probley makes any sense by now..
But i'm still just sitting here wondering, pondering asking myself how ?