What's Wrong With Me?

I sit at home
Nothing to do
My house is clean
I've got no where to go
Can't visit friends
Can't have anyone over
No one will come over
I'm a hermit waiting to find my new shell
My shades are drawn shut
My home is gloomy.. No sun shining through
It's dark and cool.. Not bright and sunny
The opposite of how I wanted it to be
My moods are changing
I can feel myself closing
My wall is rebuilding itself
I can't stop it I want to curl up and sleep
Sleep until I can sleep no more
My emotions are weakening
No feelings of tenderness
All anger and fear
As well as resentment and rebellion
I'm running away From a life of passion
I can't feel the compassion
From another human
I can't feel it from myself
I'm becoming empty inside Hiding from the sun
No contact with the outside world
I can't get my life back
I'm always in the slumps
No more am I cheerful
I'm alone and lonely.. That's how I feel
But, I don't know why
I'm treated good
I'm held with loving arms
I'm kissed with tender lips
Why do I feel so empty
What's missing in my life
Why can't I rebuild myself
Why can't I feel
WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME