Tonight

Tonight I find myself crying over him I don't know if its because of the fact that I'm in love with him or because I'm scared that he's gone play me yet again.I just don't know all I know is I love him, but I'm scared.....scared of being hurt by another. Scared of being used or another notch on a guy's belt. How do I love somebody that I can't even trust? I ask myself that everyday since I told him that I'm in love with him. I just wanna be happy and it seems like every time I get close to having that happiness it gets snatched away like candy from a baby. And I'm back to where I started...alone...confused...hurt...angery...sadness...and yet I'm so open to the idea of having that one person....that one soul mate....yet being a sweet nice caring loving open guy seems like I don't get nothing but heart breaks and cheated on and lied to...but I know that in the future I will have my one and only soul mate, my better half, my partner in life...untill then it'll be me myself and i....loving me for me