The Fifth of March



Today you took me down a trail
That sloped and winded
And as the breeze mussed my hair
Of youthful summer days was I reminded

I gave you my heart again as we walked
Down that old path nearly disregarded
By the vines that clothe it with modesty
And fallen leaves that bombard it

Then you took my hand
And our fingers tangled with each others
Like the roots of a tree being grounded
Into earth and the ashes of our founding mothers

And then on knee gallantly bent
You asked for today to span a lifetime
And I gave you the only thing that I could-
The promise to be yours for as long as you are mine

***Rough draft. Needs editing...Some of it (mainly the last two verses) still sounds off to me. Will revise soon.
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Submitted on May 01, 2011

Modified on March 05, 2023

41 sec read
1

Quick analysis:

Scheme XAXX XAXX XBAB XXXX X
Closest metre Iambic pentameter
Characters 694
Words 139
Stanzas 5
Stanza Lengths 4, 4, 4, 4, 1

Rachel

I can't write about myself in third person, so let's make this an autobiography.I'm Rachel. I'm a nineteen year old college student. And, well, I'm pretty boring. I'm awkward, and I'm selfish. I'm both too serious and too whimsical. I'm hundreds of conflicts contained in a girl. I've only had one real love and I've been head over heels since I was fourteen (He's too stubborn to leave). Most things I write have a little of him between the lines. I'm trying to find my way through growing up and constantly fighting my instincts to pack up and runaway. I think too much and terrify myself. Life scares me and sometimes I forget to live. Insomnia and feeling lost led me here (it also led me to start blogging: http://growinguplostgirl.blogspot.com/)I'm here to grow so please critique anything and everything I post. The structure of my poems would probably give my old high school English teachers a heart attack. My punctuation, or lack there of, probably wouldn't make them feel any better. I get that people are very protective of their creations, but you can tear mine to shreds, as long as you respect the emotions behind them. Harsh criticism wont make me sob into a pillow, promise. more…

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