The difference between what you think your life is going to be like & how it ends up

love
normalcy
strong & joyous
greatness
success
result of brain power
education

but most of all
love
marriage
solid
romantic
intense

vague possibility of motherhood
in a bubble of cotton
fuzzy
a mirage

no self-imposed limitations
only choices
options
no hardships that cannot be overcome
difficulties
not impossibilities
no permanent fears
a dark bedroom
an imagination
the only threats

naivete
precious innocence

reality of life
brutal
brings with it
more to fear than
horror films
far more terrifying
than boogeyman
or vampire
or poltergeist

More painful
than melodrama
painted-on sorrow
crocodile tears
for acting's sake
attention
ackowledgment
validation

Searing
deep
unrelenting
sorrow
wounds
gaping
mourning
life unlived
watching it go by
while the pain prevents
the success
the love
the normalcy

the secret
they forgot to teach me
didn't want me to know
if I dare whisper it...
there is no such thing as
normalcy
success

but the love
now that is real
sometimes part of the fear
but does not have to be
the only part of the dream
that heals
soothes
eases fears
lights dark rooms
scares away boogeymen
ghosts
werewolves

and lets the dream live again