The damage you've caused.... CHOZEN. A males point of view

How do I describe the damage you've caused?
How do I explain that is a thousand times harder to become a loving man if you caused-damaging thoughts to manage the course of a child's life?
It's your child right?
But you banish the thought. And then-
d*mn it off course ran him off course with- memories of banging on walls and slamming on doors.
Trap him in a world full of hate and aggression with his dad as the source.
That's how to ensure that-growing up he won't know but began to endorse more malice of course. Round of applause when I was four..
When u put me in the frolery section.
Decided I wasn't even worth your time let alone love and affection.
And that creates a void.
Which is something that you only once forgot
So I filled it with the olders on the block..
They told me use a gun as protection..
Your a youngin so u don't get to run any questions.
But know that if I bang for you then we're family but if a man tries it with you we ain't gonna forget them.
See when I was a kid-you ignored your cue to cope.
Affectively rejected me and that became usual.
Respected Gs accepted me let me in the crew so
I gave them the new role
I craved their approval.
No mans an island. We all need a helping hand to stay afloat
I may have hung myself, but u handed me the rope.
Now don't get me twisted. I'm not trying to say that I didn't mess up.
With the choices that I've made and claimed that I was set up.
I'm saying you had a role and your didn't play it right.
So instead of learning to live.. Your son was trying to stay alive.
No man's an island, we all need a helping hand to stay afloat.
I may have hung myself but u handed me the rope.