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Suck It Up

Everyone makes mistakes, it's just a fact of life.
No matter what you think of me or anyone else, no one is perfect.
I am always envied, people constantly tell me that someone was talking about me.
And for what? Because I realized I screwed up, so I did something about it?

I don't try to figure it all out, why people sit around and talk.
I just don't have time for that. Even if I did, that's now how I would want to spend my time.
My life is my life. There are some f*ck*d up factors, some messed up decisions, and the maturity that I learned to admit when I'm wrong.

For what I was born into, I had no control.
But what I married into, that was my own will to make that choice.
I make no excuses, I f*ck*d up.

But I had to make right, for my children's sake.
They can't learn that it's okay to be disrespected.
Praise to them for seeing at a young age that him yelling at me made me cry.
I didn't have that perception so young.
Kudos to me for realizing that if I stayed, they may end up in the same situation.
Thumbs down to him, for still not admitting any fault.
But again, that's why I left, because it was an endless battle with no conclusion.

Some may continue to talk and say I just run away from my problems.
But of course those people don't know the effort I put in to make it better.
They can continue to talk all they want, but they didn't have to clean up beer induced vomit.
They didn't have to feel scared when a man more than twice their weight got in their face hollering.
They didn't have a controlling husband that was just impossible to deal with when trying to work out issues.

But me? How did I make it through?
I took the “good” out of the sh*tty situation: my babies.
I protected them and showed them that it's wrong to treat people like sh*t.
I showed them that independence can be a good thing (as long as it's not stubborn).
And I told them that family comes first, not beer or fancy cars.

With that clear priority of family and independence, the children wanted to protect me.
It was an amazing feeling to have family look out for your best interests.
With my new outlook on life and good karma from always being nice,
I found the one and only man who is the reason for women wanting to get married.
He showed me and my babies what a real family is and how a real family stands together.

I could never be more thankful for the sh*tty things in my life, because they make all the good things worth every sigh and chest pain.

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Submitted on February 14, 2014

2:29 min read

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