Still Standing (A Tribute to "For Colored Girls")

I was happy as a new babe'
I saw smiles in every face
I would dance down the street
I felt my feet were light as a sun washed day
My moves were translucent as a chiffon skirt
Moving in my rhythm
Softly and gently caressing my thighs as I
Fly on the windmill of a song
Easy I moved and took his hand to show
He could be my man, if that was his plan
He was calm and smooth, a gentlemen with every move
He spoke softly, elegantly
He was interested in me
My wants, my needs, my passions
He clung to my every word and
Understood my every hesitation
He never pushed, pressed or pressured me
He was always easy
His fingers soft, cool, moving
Making my skin sing
Holding me in arms of a cloud
Dancing one dance and somehow
My beauty he loved, my laugh, my smile
The excitement in my eyes
He said spoke out loud
He wanted to give me a dream come true
He saw I was open and pure
He wanted to give me what I gave
Remembrance and joy, what I craved
The sparkle in my eyes, which told no lies
Told him I was still a child
Wrapped in a woman's cowl
The sun was bright in, a golden glow kind of way
I woke up this morning joyfully planning my day
Thrilled to my core still remembering our date
Two weeks go by fast when
Learning if someone can be your mate
I was happy he was not mad although, slightly disappointed
He wanted to come in, have coffee, a little chat
He really wanted my best thing
A little taste of Heaven
Which would be me!
I had to deny him this, it was late
I did not want to spoil our first date
He watched me walk up the steps
He wanted to make sure I was safe
I knew he was watching my ample behind
My thick legs with tapered ankles
The swing in my hips, the bounce in my steps
The glory of what Mother Nature gave
Visualizing in his mind
My beautiful Black thighs the creaminess within
Imaging the warmth of them
Wrapped around him, softly and warmly holding him
I stopped, I turned, and I smiled my sparkling smile
He blew me a kiss, he said
"Good night, sweetness."
We made plans for a dinner in
I was going to showcase my talent
A great joy of mine on this planet
Cutting the vegetables, mixing the pie
Seasoning the meat, chilling the wine as I
Sway my hips to the smooth jazz beat
Awaiting the arrival of
My man treat
I look in the mirror there I stand
Dark brown skin, deep rich chocolate
Perfectly arched brow, wide clear brown eyes
Dimples on each side, a cleft in my chin
I have to admit
I am pretty good looking!
A knock on the door, my body starts to heat
He smiles, he stares with
Flowers in his hand
He kisses my cheek then
Smells the aroma of my meat
"Something smells good, spicy and sweet."
"It is me you smell, listen to that saucy Brizilian beat!"
"A Cuban feast I am preparing for you."
"So you really can cook?"
"Of course a girl got to eat."
He makes a toast to good times
I dance around preparing the table for our feast
He wanted a hug; I wrap him in my heart
The vulnerable part
The part that wanted to woe him to make me his bride
The part that wanted him to know
I was a valuable prize
He kissed me on the neck
I blushed deep in my breast as
My fingers continued to move in preparation
I smelled the richness of him
Such a fine good looking man as my
Body tingled with the nervousness of his nearness
I was talking, chit-chatting
He was quietly listening then
I felt his hand hot on my behind
A slight little move
I did not want to spoil the mood as I
Turned to find him undressing in
My living room!
"Put your clothes back on!"
"What are you doing?"
My mind went blank in a cloud of confusion
I started to run
"Come on girl you know the deal!"
"We are both grown, come on take a pill!"
"A Brother knows why you invited me here!"
He grabbed me then, threw me down
I slapped him hard
He stuffed my mouth
I started to fight with all my might
A well placed punch took my breath
I was stunned
He pushed me down
He flipped me over
Tore off my protection
Like a wild Beast
I tried to scream as he ripped and ripped at me
When he penetrated me
The fire in my 'Spirit' started to freeze
As I lay there staring at the clock
One minute
I felt his hot foul breath on my face
Two minutes
I heard him say I wanted this
Three minutes
Like a dog in heat he was finished
Three minutes is all it took
To deaden my love, my dreams, my hope
I was thinking of loving him on purpose
I was dreaming about him on purpose
I was joyful at the prospect of finding a true gentleman
He stepped to me correctly, politely
I thought we could dream together perfectly
Someone I could build a friendship with
A true connection
Born of intimacy not sex
The best relationship, a perfect nest
Instead
I found a new kind of man
He is a friend, a well known stranger
The kind of man Mama did not know about
Mama did not know
He would be a man I could bring home
Mama did not know
He would wear a suit and have a good job
Mama did not know
He would send me flowers, take me out to dinner
An expensive dinner
Mama did not know
In three minutes my world would change
The innocent sparkle that filled my eyes
Now are replaced with the truth of world lies and
My 'Spirit' lays in turmoil and tattered shreds
But
I will summon my ancient Woman
Fight off the darkness around my heart
I will hold my head high and stare the Beast in the face
I will no longer see the world wide-eyed
Because
Now I know in three minutes time
The world can grow cold but
I will still have my pride
I will once again find my joy
Somewhere deep within
A mountain of joy
As a fierceness of strength will emerge
No stranger or fake friend will ever destroy
That part of me he is not good enough to ever know
I languished deep in the belly of the Beast
Where my ancient woman taught me
African speak
Three minutes there was like three years
I lived through the worse of what he gave
He blew his Hell inside of me like a grave
Did he even care how I would bleed?
Did he think of the scars he would leave?
Did he even consider the recovery time?
Was I ever a real thing in his mind?
I survived the brutal attack
Now, my resolve is coming back
I fought through the fire, the fiery pit
The black tar fought me hard on this
Determination was my shield
Never again will I ever give in to the Beast
Who will never again feast in my presence!
My Spirit, body and Soul will never succumb
To this sickness so cold
The Beast will die at my hands
A moment gone is lost forever but
Three minutes will burn like fire in my mind
I faced the Beast and
Here I am
Still Standing!

5 March 2011