something i learned about myself the other night(prose)



I went out to eat the other night
and I was sitting with my best friend
having a rather boring conversation about work
we went out on the town because I had been feeling very lonely lately
so he left his girlfriend at home so he could be my wingman
I have always believed I am a good guy
looking at inner beauty
just as much if not more than the outside
I explained to my best friend
that all I want is a girl who I can talk to
really talk to
about life and art and the everyday b*llsh*t
someone who understands things
and loves
the way I do
so as we waited for our menus
a very sweet overweight girl came over to the table
she handed us the menus and asked us what we would like to drink
she looked at me the whole time and gave a big smile as she walked away
my friend said
I think that shes attracted to you, maybe you should talk to her
I said
no man shes a waitress thats her job to be that way she probably smiles at everyone
she came back with my coffe and his water smiling at me again and said
I just have to say I love your shoes(i guess I should explain I have very obnoxious neon orange shoes)
I said thank you and cracked some corny joke about not being able to commit crimes in them
and she laughed way to hard at my stupid joke and said
do you go to school around here
and I told her no that I stopped going and she asked what I used to study and I said creative writing
so we got to talking and it turns out we like a lot of the same authors and similair tastes in music
and she also writes a little herself
I politely carried on until she left
my friend said
I think your in buddy and you guys like a lot of the same sh*t heres your chance
I said
shes probably got a boyfriend shes a waitress she only acts so nice for tips
so she came back with our food and said
if your ever around this way in the afternoon you should stop by and have a coffe we can talk about books
I politely said ok and she walked away
my friend said
why didnt you get her number she was making sooooo easy
I said I dunno man I just dont think wed connect
he rolled his eyes and looked p*ss*d off
so we asked for the check
I left the sweet overweight (but cute) waitress a generous tip
and we left
and as we were walking down the street
a very attractive
very visibly intoxicated girl(by the way I should mention I dont drink)
started screaming/slurring behind me
HEY I LOOOOVE YOUR SHOES
I turned around
and said to the fish eyed drunk girl
thank you your shoes are very stylish as well(i didnt even look at them)
and she looked at the band on my t shirt and said
OOOOH MYYY GOOOD THOOOSE GUYS SUUUUCK
and as I looked at this drunk and drooling pop culture loving stumbing and mumbling
but VERY attractive girl
who had absolutely nothing interesting to say
I fell in love
my friend saw this and rolled his eyes and looked p*ss*d off
I guess you learn something new about yourself everyday
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Submitted on September 03, 2012

Modified on March 05, 2023

2:53 min read
2

Quick analysis:

Scheme abcdefdgbhhdijhklmnOpOeokqorstuvOwOxoynOdz1 2 3 v4 5 mdk6 7 qocs7 n8 1 n
Closest metre Iambic hexameter
Characters 2,818
Words 579
Stanzas 1
Stanza Lengths 62

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