Scream and Smile

I tried so hard to scare away my dreams of you
But the pills hurt my throat
So I pretended to swallow, and then spit them out when they'd turn away
I never asked for this
They know how I felt about you
They know I can't just sleep this away
Sometimes, I wonder if they ever even cry
If they ever feel the pull at the veins that I feel
Every time somebody says your name
I think that they're just plastic
Shiny dolls in white coats
Telling me when to eat and sleep and shower
Because I got sick when you went away
And it's their job to take away the pain
With needles and potions
Stab, stab, stab
Stab at the sickness in my head
The evil that made its way in as you were making your exit
Everyday they talk and I scream
I scream to God asking him why
Why we had to leave the party early and be on the road that night
At 12:09
It could have been any minute besides that one
And they calm me down, and stab some more
Shushing me and saying that shouldn't cry so much
What they don't know is that I keep yelling into my pillow
Begging God for the answer to my question
Why did I find my way out of that car on my hands and knees
And you on a blood and piss stained gurney?
Why did I wake in a stale hospital bed,
And you in a mahogany box underneath six feet of earth?
I'm sure they hear me in the night
And are either too tired or sympathetic to shush me
Because they know too
God messed up when he took you.