RIP Caleb Farwell

I still remember that day
Nothing felt changed
Till I got a call that made me feel strange
Have you heard what happened?
What? You're joking…
I wish I was.
She said through tears that had her choking
Happened just this morning
Found him in the shed
And now his family's mourning
Cause' their middle son is dead
What did we do wrong?
How did we not see this coming?
I don't know what to say
He looked so happy

I was just numb
Breath was taken away
I started to shake
And tears rolled down my face
Are you ok?
Strangers I used to know asked me
 I learned that the loss of one person could ruin
One's entire identity
I left that day with red eyes and a sore throat
But more than that, new questions and lost hope
God stopped my bullet
But didn't cut his rope
He didn't take away his pain
But he gave me new hope

God, why didn't you save him?
He had so much to live for.
I loved him with my heart, my soul, and then more!
Why can't that be me hung on that rope?
He's the one who actually gave everyone hope
I know they'll miss him more than me
I'm a f*ck*ng mess like a disaster recipe
When he died he took more than just his own life
He took mine, and His parents
Its like he cut our life-line
His little brother that looked up to him?
Doesn't know what to think
As for his girlfriend?
She's probably cutting over the sink

 I know they're your plans
But I f*ck*ng hate them
And sh*t like his death
Is why I resent them
It'll never make sense
Why he had to go
And why criminals in prison
Get saved from death row
He was my brother
Found dead by his mother
If she only knew what would happen that morning
She would've stayed up all night
Just to show how much she loved him
His dad is a warrior
But this proved too much
He broke down in tears
With his heart in Gods clutch

They put up his picture, I bawled uncontrollably
I'm a grown f*ck*ng man
Look how this tore at me!
I look more like my shadow
And I act like it too
Shows that many lives can be ruined by few
 He ripped my heart out
And dropped it as he flew
To go to the kingdom of heaven
 To live life with you

I cry at your name
I scream out why God why!?
And I'll never understand
I don't see how any of this fits in Gods master plan!
I don't care how many counselors they make me go see
Your absence will never ever make sense to me!
You say he's in a better place? Well how come I'm not?
He went up to heaven and left us in Hell
With unanswered questions that no one forgot
We're left to pick up his pieces that shattered and fell
Our church was broken like the liberty bell

Its ironic that the ones who are most full of life
Are the first ones to lose it
And when he took the dark path
I don't even need to try and prove it

Ill never forget you
You changed my life
You're the reason I'm saved
And I'm breathing new life
But I stopped mourning
And I started celebrating
Cause After every dark night
There is always a bright morning
Have fun in the skies
Ill see you one day
But to say I wont miss you…
Is a lie ill never say
I know that you're up there
Smiling down upon us
But your absence sometimes
Makes me question why
“in God we trust”

But don't assume this is the end
Cause it's only the beginning
We have lives to mend
And hearts that need healing
He changed all of us
So we can change many more
And to stop his legacy now
Is like stealing food from the poor
He lives among us
In our daily lives
His spirit is with us
And holds us when we cry
He laughs when we laugh
He's with us when life has us high
And when it's all over
He'll hug us when we die

Ill see you one day Caleb
And ill run to you with open arms
You'll be free of affliction and free of worldly harms
We have so much to catch up on
But my story's not done yet
I'm going to live a life for you
That no one will ever forget
So when I'm standing on top of the world
With no more accomplishments to do
Ill smile, point up to the sky and shout,

“I did this for you!”