Plight of the Devil

Let me know peace again, even if only for a bit,
Why does God shun me so?
Can you even begin to fathom what it's like to fall from grace?
So cold in the world, but never allowed to return home?

Have I not learned my lesson?
But He cares not, for His Will is absolute.
No patience for mistakes; no ear for apologies,
It is all for you, and I watch, longing for that same kind of lenience.

I never asked for this life, but it was forced upon me,
A victim of Destiny, just so He can have His little game.
What pleasure He derives out of keeping me down, I will never know,
But I have begged all that I could for forgiveness, but it is not extended to me.

This evil of which you speak was from another life,
But as I walk among you now, I weep for what I've done.
I just want to sleep this life away and awaken by His side, finding that I had only dreamed all this,
But the sad truth is that my seat has been given away and I will never again know His Light.

Often, I wonder why I even try to atone, but I was created to worship, and so, cannot help myself,
I hold doors for you, I try to help the impoverished, I want to make you happy.
Is my sin so unforgivable that I can never go back?
What must I do for You to love me again?!

Forgive me, Father, for having thought so highly of myself,
Please give back what You have taken from me.
Never again would I argue and resist Your authority,
I know now that I was the Son and You, the Creator.

Please just let me feel Your warmth once more,
Smile upon me and welcome me back with open arms as these fathers do with their sons.
I lack the strength to continue this existence,
But I am trapped in this body with this heart that refuses to cease.

Tears flow freely, stinging my eyes,
I don't even care about them anymore.
When will I have suffered enough for You to be satisfied?
Can I ever come back home?