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Pictures/Energy



  Pictures/Energy
 What pictures, what energy meld together to create and experience is what comes together in my mind, followed by action or with action.
 I fear that I may not be doing as well as I could but feel I'm doing as well as I can.
 Outside it is sunny and mild for January and my wife is sleeping. She is very tired alot.
 I slept until about 9 am which is late for me. I have generalized anxiety disorder which makes it hard to sleep for very long.
 But the last few days I have trained myself not to worry, not to be so hard on myself and I was rewarded with a dream: I was charged with arranging for the burial of as student at some dream university because he had no one else and I went around trying to get help with it and finally got some help. A nice man told me the steps to arrange for a burial//as dreams go, it was in sequence with a dream about insurance and involved the character Dargo from Farscape TV series and memories of getting a traffic ticket on December 26 2013 and the effect it may have on my real insurance. 2013 was an 'interesting' year for the good/bad engine of life, one thing after another between some significant good events, each one with a hidden fee or price, I guess, unless sh*t really does 'just happen.'
 I'm on a constant guilt trip over something to do with my time and I know it's just b*llsh*t, just pride, self pity and self centered fear and I pray alot and work my program. Thats why I've been able to sleep better lately so I guess I'm OK in OK. I also can find lots to do with my free time: House husband, work out freak, meeting hog, tutoring, writing this.
 I think I'll let my wife know I'm gonna take a walk. It's Saturday and I would normally be a human being instead of a human 'doing' anyway. In honesty, open mindedness and willingness comes humility and self worth---Thank you, God. I picture the trail in the woods like a journey, real and conceptual.
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Submitted on August 03, 2015

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