Painful Blur

Yesterday was easier.
Perhaps I am beginning to heal?
Finally!
After a long year.
Now when I think of you,
I say a prayer.
It helps in a way.
So much time, just lost.
At times I am, still there in your house.
That is now changed.
My girl, giggles, and beautiful
All things you once called me.
That once caused me to smile and laugh.
Now only cause pain.
Strange to recall us so close,
naked, cuddled in each others arms and our bodies intertwined.
Now a painful blur.
I used to be able to hide these private thoughts away.
Now their awake, loud, and
demanding!
Painfully annoying.
Banging in my head as shattered memories.
Your country voice, the sweet sound.
God, how I miss, and crave it!
I am parched, yet again for it.
I long for the essence of you,
for only that will release me from this hell.

Copyright by
Lorianne Dixon
3-23-16