Now You Know...

Its a different kind of day when nothing seems real anymore,
this I can feel when I sit alone on a moon lit sea shore.
Staring out past the oceans horizon in the far distance,
upon where I disappear into my inner resistance.
Lifes temptations were the only things I couldnt resist,
many of them made me cry and raise a clench fist.
Somewhere in the depth of the sea was hidden the explanation,
so far down I had to go to understand the above creation.
I found that none could be trusted,
as I looked at a bucket on the well used and rusted.
The water I could see through,
its drink became my day due.
Heartache and pain is all Ive seen,
this as Ive looked for comfort filled peace serene.
My family before me became cumbersome,
few had love but with a couple there was some.
My Grandmother and Great Grandmother I found at the well,
many were the Jesus stories in my youth they would tell.
They didnt mention His Name often,
but I knew who He was when I saw one of them in a coffin.
I first went to prison when I was 18,
you cant imagine the things Ive seen.
Taken from freedom,
and placed into what became the doors to God's Kingdom.
When you have nothing in life,
there still seems to live its strife.
When your told what to do 24/7 each day,
you pray for a completely different way.
My prison became my thoughts whether inside or out,
this is where I learned to define all my questions and doubt.
Questioning others asks for nothing but many different answers,
and everyone seems to carry all of lifes antidotes and cures.
All I wanted was for my heart to be healed,
instead I found myself alone in a valley with a flowered field.
Mountains standing tall all around me,
yet beyond them I could faintly see,
so many walking alone in their own misery,
like me wanting to know how to be eternally free.
Selfishness was the stone around me that built my well,
my lack of knowledge dug the depth that I fell.
No matter how bad you think life is,
someone has it worse,
this is the nature of a curse.
Given to all of us at birth,
so that we would fully understand Jesus' secret mirth.