November

I've been lost in a memory that has yet to be created.
When your eyes change to the color of the autumn leaves,
I will forgive your wretched dreams.
Or perhaps I'll pretend the sprinkled residue of the stars
is actually your fingers caressing my skin.
Tonight I'll allow myself to drown in the depths of your bedsheets.
You can wrap your arms around me, like the hundred rings around Saturn
and I will orbit your thoughts as the moon follows the earth,
your gravity pulling me down into this distorted fantasy
of the day that we became one.
The day that we became two girls lost in desperation
we found each other at the end of the world.
We promised we would never let go
of the strings that kept us at the edge of our earth.
I tattooed my name into the back of your mind,
and you scarred your sins onto my lips.
You followed my veins, like rivers, to an ocean deep inside my chest.
Buried your treasure deep inside my skin, and marked the spot with an X.
You placed your fingers over my eyes and whispered,
"Look not with your eyes, but with your heart instead."
So I did. And when I saw you, I didn't see you.
I saw instead a distorted image of what this could be.
Of what you would be if you wrapped your heart around my own,
and let every particle of lust devour us whole.
If you closed your eyes and saw in me, as if you could see through me,
my weakened strength.
But you don't.
So I fall limp, and the rope slips right through my fingers, like a million grains of sand.
And as a dark mass pulls me down into its soul, I cry for help.
But as I formulate words to make sense of this mess,
I realize I have forgotten your name.
And when I look up, I only see the whites of your eyes.
So I'll fall forever into the blacks of your mind.