Matt Who?

I'm blessed, success seems to find me as I get older.
Cursed because with time my heart gets colder.
Sometimes I wish it was over.
I just wish I was happy sober..

I'm not, I doubt I ever will be.
I can't live up to the expectations and it kills me.
I'm too afraid to show ppl the real me.
So quick to judge, please don't tell me that you feel me.

You can't, you don't, nights I wonder how dare I survive.
When most nights I'd rather be dead than alive.
Appreciation fades I no longer see beauty through my eyes.
All around all I see is death, pain and cries.

See this is why no one ever gets close to me.
How can I be what you need, when I can't even be the man I'm supposed to be.
No point in approaching me.

Please don't bother.
I hate myself because I look just like my father.
Don't tell me, let me guess, I have a problem?

I'm crazy because everyone loves me but my minds says "they hate you"
Its only lonely because I don't have anyone to relate to.

Sure people have come into my life, but they never stay.
That's because when they dare to get close I always push them away.

Take a peak inside and realize when you open and see,
That you don't like Matt, just the person he pretends to be.
In my mind I'm dying that'll surely be the end of me.

I don't ask anyone to understand, that wouldnt be fair.
I just ask that you care, when I share, all the pain that I bare, you can stay if you dare but beware, I know if you saw the real me you wouldn't be there...