letter 2 the Lord

Lord i cry out to You.
I cry out to you because of my horrible sins, Lord.
Lord i have done many wrongs. For that i am sorry, Lord.
Lord, i've wondered why i'm going through stuff ive never gone through before. i realize now, Lord why i go through this Lord. before i meet you Lord, i was just the most wonderful bubbly person anyone could ever meet Lord., but now that has changed so much Lord. i have found you, but lost some of who i liked being Lord. i use to be an honor student, an athlete, a friend to all, and a very outgoing person , Lord. i love being like that Lord, but im nowhere close to that anymore. it saddens me that im almost the total opposite Lord. im doing things i would have never done before. things rush through my mind. that should not be on my mind at all, i should give them all to you. Lord i understand why things  like this didn't happen to me then but now and also why things happened back then and not now. i am thankful for those things that have happened in the past because they have brought me closer to you, but things now are dragging me away. down to hell Lord. stuff that happened in the past did not bother me like they all do now because i could not handle it then, but im not sure if i can handle it now either. some things have become a passion. things that shouldn't be a pasion of mine at all. i cared for many Lord and weeped for many as well. now i understand why i didn't have it as hard. as the trials i am going through right now Lord  are drawing me away, but still keeping me close. i don't know what to do. without  you Lord i would not be able to carry these trials and to be able to be here right now Lord becasue i know i should not even be here for my sin Lord. for killing your son Jesus christ. you know Lord, i would fail trumendously, Lord if i tryed to do it all without you.  maybe that is why harder trials are coming now. so i can see that i truly really  need you Lord. i love you Lord and i just hope and pray that i can trust in you to the fullest Lord. Lord that would mean so much to me. if i could just fully trust in one person Lord and i want that person to be you Lord. no one else can understand me quiet like you. so lord just please, please help me Lord to trust you fully Lord with everything and with my life Lord because you gave me life and because i should be living for you not for myself. Lord and to honor you as much as possible Lord. Lord and i pray that if you are really real and are really out there Lord, for you to help me with many  hard trials i am going through and many to come Lord. Please Lord if you are really out there just please give me a sign Lord. a sign of wich all can see and all can experience that are believers or none believers. for it to be with you Lord.

                                                                I LOVE YOU LORD!!