Leaving Jas's World

Can I look now without blinking
now that you are gone
Before it was no matter of choice
caught like a first breath
Gasping with fear and awe
Believing without you near
I would wither and fall
The wonder of entering your space
your secret closeted door
where you created a private Narnia
Cast yourself as Aslan and at your feet watched me fall
Extracting my soul as any god does
I could not- would not resist your allure
yet you could not let me know I mattered to you