lay me to rest

so how does she feel?
how does she kiss?
how does it feel to be by her side?
this enormous hole in my heart
as empty as my stomach
seems to never go away
my eyes are swollen and they burn
and i shake to the thought that i am alone now
and now it is too late
to fix things between us
and i feel i am fearing all the wrong things
i darken my shadow to cover up regret
but the train tracks still lie straight
so bring on the end
shame eats me alive
i cannot forgive you
i cannot even forgive myself
but yet i still plea for your forgiveness, once more
god lay me to rest