Jimmy

It's that time of year again when you're in my thoughts and I feel the loss in my heart. I try every day to hide the pain I feel inside. You've been gone for a long time but I still feel it in my soul. I see you here with me growing alongside me. You give me the strength to keep moving forward. Not a day passes me by when I don't think about you. How you might look or act or even if we would get along. Would we still look alike or be as close as we were? These are things I think about when I'm thinking of you. I feel a piece of me is not complete with you gone. A gut wrenching, soul torturing emptiness that just stays there. A part of me is gone and never returning. Yes I can live with it but it's a struggle every day to overcome those thoughts and feelings. I don't think I can explain how empty I feel to anyone else. I don't know if I can explain what it feels like not being whole. A lifetime of pain and sorrow, trials and tribulations. Every year around this time is when I feel the worst but I'm working through it. I'm becoming stronger every day. Without your memory I'd be nothing. I knew I had to make you proud. Its time I make something of myself. I'm living for both of us and your tragedy is going to help me help someone else. Jimmy you will live with me forever even though you're gone. My twin, my brother, my friend, my life.

©By: Angela M. Crabtree
June 23, 2010