Into the Void, Act I: Fall Apart, Chapter 4 - The Die is Cast

You promised me you'd wait for me to get back,
But I guess I took way too long.
Was it so unreasonable to to think that
You'd wait? Though I guess I was wrong.

I never expected to wake and find you gone,
But I have been so very wrong before.
They tell me that it's time for me to move on,
Though these memories are hard to ignore.

I just can't believe the things that you say
When your words sound so rehearsed.
Practiced, repeated, carefully arranged
As you recite each line and verse.

You design your lines for optimum effect,
But you never read me all that well.
You think that I don't know what to expect,
But your calculation is your tell.

You're smoke in my eyes.
Is this what you had in mind?
You always were my favorite drug
Your eyes, intoxicating like no other.
Pierce right through me, tear me asunder.
Course down through me, put me under.

And I'm reminded of the feeling I get
Sweet sad surprise and regret
When you looked at me that way
As you turned to me to say
Oh, I'm not so sure
Of my feelings anymore.

My mind wanders back to that day
Replaying the events over and over in my mind.
I've thought it over a thousand times,
But the conclusion continues to take me by surprise.
It's exactly what I'd hoped for,
But I regret it all the same.
Sometimes getting exactly what what you want
Is exactly the worst thing that can happen.
When getting what you wanted
Is exactly what you deserved.

Forgetting all the things that you want to remember.
Remembering all the things you want to forget.

You seem like you think I must enjoy this.
The truth lies in my eyes, the weight is enormous.
But I hope you'll forgive me for saying
That I think you're so very pretty when you're angry.
Though it's not at all to say
That I like seeing you this way.

Please don't interrupt me.
I hate it when you cut me off so abruptly
Just as I'm trying to get my point across.

Intentions disguised!
Revelations despised!
I've surmised the truth inside your lies.
The Truth is out there, still waiting to be found.
All those things you kept from me, still buried in the ground.
I will unearth your secrets
I will link the Who and Why
Behind your quiet regrets
Now all I need is time.

Is what we had worth saving?
These walls inside are caving.
I cannot stand this waiting.
This silence it is grating
Inside my armor plating.
Fear and doubt now equating.

You won't even notice at the start
Has it been like this all along?
When things really begin to fall apart
Will you know where it all went wrong?
I can't undo the things I've made
But I'm sure as hell gonna try
I fear it's far too late to change
The course set for our lives.