Inside

Why do I do the things that I do
I wish I could control it, like you
Making me seem mean, shallow, and cruel
Forcing me to play you as the fool
I know it's not me, at least, that's what I say
But, maybe down deep, I am truly that way
I tell myself that I'm stronger, I can control it in the end
Then why do I feel like an *ssh*l* friend
Sometimes it's unreal, like I'm not in control
Is there really something darker, deep down below
Or is it my insecurities, that make me do this
I don't know, but to make it go away is my one true wish