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im glad you didnt love me

suzy Q 

took a long look into the depths of your eyes
sadly, yours was a blank stare
but mine a gaze of love
longing for a sign
I smiled at you
with the warmth of my soul
you smiled back with a cold smile
as coldest can be
your eyes filled with shadows of pain
and i felt you needed me
so my heart told me

You effortlessly conquered my heart
i was only 20
naive and ignorant of the ways of the world
And love a strange thing to me
so i cant say i loved you
but all i know i laid
my heart at your feet

I worshiped the ground you walked on
thanked the heavens you were born
but you were tied up in theshadows of your past
to even notice the color of my skin
Were i showed love
you made me feel unworthy of being loved
never even was i considered an option
even at the climax of loving you
i remained your shadow besides you
present but unfelt

Today when i look back
Am glad you didn't love me
for your indifference showed me
what a beautiful person I am
it taught me tolerance and selflessness
it eradicated self pity and made me strong
loving you gave me the gift of loving me

I loved you
am glad you didn't love me
if you had even for a while
i would have grown proud
so full of myself
i would have never discovered the beauty in me
How would have known
that no one completes me but me
that am strong beyond measure
because every blow you swang at my heart
got me closer to looking out for me
now i know all the love i was looking for
was always there
it was the love for me.
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Submitted on September 30, 2013

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