I Refuse To...

I can no longer wake up everyday, hoping and praying that you will one day wake up and say, I love you; I know that you do; I love you too.
I refuse to.
I can no longer look you in the eyes, smile in your face, and not tell you of my love for you, but when I see that the thought of telling you hurts you, and distances you, I don’t tell you.
I refuse to.
I can no longer have you hating me when I know that you love me more than you want anyone to know.
I refuse to.
I can no longer wait for you to say the truths I know inside of myself you want me to know, but refuse to tell me.
I refuse to.
I can no longer watch as you secrete your lie, and then live solemnly as you die inside because they tear me apart for having desire to love you.
I refuse to.
I can no longer continue to hurt, and be ashamed just because of my love for you.
I refuse to.
I can no longer have you segregating me and hiding from me as if my presence offends you.
I refuse to.
I can no longer pretend not to see you do these things to me, hurt me, laugh at me, ignore me, when I know you’re depressed from not having me.
I refuse to.
I can no longer endure this unending blitz of castigations from you, them, and subsequently from me.
I refuse to.
I can no longer have my heart hold desires only for you, beat for you, cry for you, and care for you; although I want to stop loving you; force myself to hate you; and then completely forget you;
I am forced to refuse to.
God knows, I don’t know what to do.