I

I think I may go get a McGriddle in the morning,
 I love the taste of heart disease.
I think I might move to India soon,
 It looks quite nice there.
I think I am alive,
 If not, I'll live.
I think I'll quit my job today,
 All the stuff I want costs too more than money.

I wish I had a six pack,
 Only five more to go.
I wish I was a devout Christian,
 But I'm really not all that happy.
I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Weiner,
 Except I've never had it in me to kill someone.
I wish I held the world in my hands,
 I am probably too clumsy, though.

I know how to spell my name,
 Public education did something right.
I know the secret of life,
 It equals 42.
I know how to tie my shoes,
 That's why I wear sandals.
I know right from wrong,
 So I'll stay away from politics.

I seen the ocean once,
 It inspired me to diet.
I seen a kind person once,
 Now I believe in ghosts.
I seen my future in a dream when I was little.
 Black holes aren't really as interesting as you'd think.
I seen a shooting star yesterday.
 Must suck to be an alien.

I am the walrus.
 Boy I can eat up some eggs.
I am God,
 I can kill all of us whenever I'd wish.
I am a little more than slightly overweight,
 But I am not that hungry at the moment.
I am a pretty bright kid,
 College seems a waste of time, though.

I have just enough to get by,
 And thankful to not have more.
I have the ability to change the world,
 It's fine as it is, though.
I have a best friend.
 There's nothing wrong with being a little narcissistic.
I have my heart in your pocket.
 Sorry if it stained your jeans.