Goodbye Again

What a sucker I have become,
So reluctant to admit their faults to anyone.
How'd you enjoy this course?
Did it seek and destroy all that hope of yours?
Strong and stubborn youth of beauty,
Soured abuse then turned that noose you seduced securely.
You hide and cry inside,
By lies you have memorised in comforts compromise.
But who am I to you in truth?
Do my words lose their use to soothe and amuse you?
My twisted twin backspin,
Textured mixtures of sinister grins to "here we go agains".
Harsh remarks that mimic the dark,
I have failed that limitless spark of your heart.
Does this prove me selfish too?
To not have the balls to offer more to you?
I'm just a freak in weak armor,
Lost within my sweet retreat of the heroic ardor.
Of every option opted,
Your protection was my main intention to profit.
I'm an idiot... terrified,
You'd find all those tears I cried if you could look inside.
Freeze-dried to petrify,
Why my words could hurt in spite of final goodbyes