Fake to Real

Practiced being fake for so long
Smiling like I'm ok
Telling myself I'm strong
Then wondering where I belong
Feelings misplaced
Because I wasn't allowed to feel
Old wounds uncovered
That weren't able to heal
I knew that God loved me
I'd heard it all my life
But didn't know how to give up sorrow
Nor how to run to Him with strife
Wrestling with myself
Unfit in my emotion
So in spite of what God told me
I gave myself demotion
My inside like an ocean
Tossed to and fro
Trapped along the banks
Nowhere had they to flow
How could I grow in you God
If I don't know what to do
I can't handle myself right now
Can't see how to get through
I've begged to see what you see
Asked why your mindful of me
How can you show me mercy
And who am I to be
Yet in my dark place
Yes right at deaths door
You reached out to me
Said you're my daughter, I have more
In all of the mess
You called me bless
You said I was yours
And you're the God that opens doors
In the middle of my stress
Chained to sufferings wall
You released my chains
Declared my tears was your call
You rescued me
You held me close
You told me, the unlovable
You loved me the most
You told me you'd hold me
That I'd know I was secure
You said I'd grow strong in you
Together we'd endure
You've not failed me yet
I still walk with you
Each and every journey
You've faithfully walked me through!