Do Not Resuscitate

The anguish of living in sweet agony
is slowly ripping at the thin walls that previously protected a once stable heart.

The constant fear of never being good enough,
of losing control and having the realization of your worst fear be in your imminent future.

So many sleepless nights I've endured,
just to go on as a stranger in my own body.

There is nothing that could possibly compare to the pain inflicted from an unnatural disaster barreling down the halls of a broken down soul.

To be faced with the possibility to never again feel the warm embrace of your best friend.

To see your heart lying on a hospital bed, broken and wired, poked and prodded, possibly taking it's final beats.

But now it's time to bury the past, and the now nonexistent future: holidays, birthdays, and "just for the heck of it" visits.

No more daily phone calls, cards, or care packages, just one gaping hole where your heart used to be.

The unfortunate circumstances that have unfolded will not be soon forgotten, and his hand will always fold around mine.