Deaths Perception

The scent of you lingers here,
harmoniously dancing in arrays of light,
like little torturous ghost haunting me.
Condemning my heart to woe.

I pass through one, and I'm transported.
Forsaken to dwell on pensive memories,
as emotions are amplified, painstaking,
succumbing my will to live.

I'm looking in from the outside now.
Has my mind created such machinations
Where I see, I feel, but I am not there?
Why is this torment meant for me?

As I view your lips embrace mine,
my heart suddenly drops all defenses,
embracing the fervor, the passion,
now pulsating life throughout my veins.

Such love was felt, such immense warmth.
And soon the memory is ripped away,
rendering me into agony, my heart stops.
Only to reawaken where I began, reality.

Tears constantly flow from my sullen iris.
Instantly drying into mere grains of salt,
as I wonder, question the numbness inside.
Questioning what truly happened that night.

I remember we yelled, I remember we fought.
Depression, anxiety, destruction, numb,
ripped my heart from my chest.
Tempting me with deaths sweet charms.

A memory of her, I've never seen appeared.
As she explained it all, it finally made sense,
trapped on the outside, feeling everything within.
Suffering the past, present, and what could have been.

Punished to the outside, always wanting back in.